Tuesday, April 29, 2008
4/29/08
Today was horrible! Ok, today all of the freshman needed to come to school at 12:30 because the rest of the students were testing. When we get to school we have to wait outside until they call us in. I was afraid of this because I don't like big groups of people. When I got there I saw that people were in their little cliques talking and laughing, but I had no one. I didn't see anyone I usually talk to or anyone I really knew. So I just stood there looking at the ground. Some people were looking at me. I felt so embarrased. And those boys were laughing at me in class today, again. I feel so alone and worthless. I never really felt these feeling before and I want them to go away. I'm starting to have suicidal thoughts too. But I know I will never kill myself. I'm too chicken and I don't want to cause my family pain. Sometimes I think that if I commit suicide people care about me and feel sorry for me. When I was younger I thought, "Why do people commit suicide, that's so stupid!" But now I see. (whoa, I used a lot of I's in this post)
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1 comment:
Wow, this is a really old blog post and I'm replying quite late. I can see, I had the same thoughts when I was younger, about why people suicide. I am nearly around your age and too think suicide will help. But then, when someone dies, nobody cares. That's the truth and I have accepted it. About 1000 people must have died when I was writing this comment but nope, it doesn't bug me. Everybody will forget you and BAM, it will be like you never existed. Get out do something IMPROVE YOUR LIFE!!. That's all I have to say
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